One of the funniest joke i have ever heard ><
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to
see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked
up.
Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the
pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.' With the worst
premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and
read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing
you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted
to avoid a scene with mom, and you. I have been finding
real passion with Karen, and she is so nice. But I knew you
would not approve of her because of all her piercings,
tattoos , tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is
much older than I am. But it's not only th e
passion...Dad, she's pregnant. Karen said that we will
be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a
stack of firewood for the whole winter.
We share a dream of having many more children. Karen has
opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really
hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and
trading it with the other people that live nearby for
cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that
science will find a cure for AIDS so Karen can get better;
she deserves it.
Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care
of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to
visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love, Your Son Tyler
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at
Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there
are worse things in life than a report card that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Nuff Nang?
Asia pacific blog awards.
on a friday night, nuff nang invited 400 bloggers to this glamorous gala dinner @ the pan pacific grandballroom.
There are 12 awards to be given to bloggers in this event.
1) Best Blog Shop, 2) Best Food Blog, 3) Best Fashion Blog,
4) Best Parenting Blog, 5) Best Travel Blog, 6) Best Geek Blog,
7) Best Celebrity Blog, 8) Best Entertainment Blog,
9) Best Original Blog Design, 10) Most Influential Blog,
11) Best Hidden Gem and 12) Region’s Best Blog.
To conclude:
Best Blog Shop goes to Bonito Chico,
Best Food Blog I eat I shoot I post,
Best Celebrity Blog was given to Joanne Peh,
Best Entertainment Blog to Kenny Sia, and
Xiaxue won 3 awards at one go - Most Influential Blog,
Best Original Blog Design and Region’s Best Blog.
(all of this originated from x-Tin's blog)
on a friday night, nuff nang invited 400 bloggers to this glamorous gala dinner @ the pan pacific grandballroom.
There are 12 awards to be given to bloggers in this event.
1) Best Blog Shop, 2) Best Food Blog, 3) Best Fashion Blog,
4) Best Parenting Blog, 5) Best Travel Blog, 6) Best Geek Blog,
7) Best Celebrity Blog, 8) Best Entertainment Blog,
9) Best Original Blog Design, 10) Most Influential Blog,
11) Best Hidden Gem and 12) Region’s Best Blog.
To conclude:
Best Blog Shop goes to Bonito Chico,
Best Food Blog I eat I shoot I post,
Best Celebrity Blog was given to Joanne Peh,
Best Entertainment Blog to Kenny Sia, and
Xiaxue won 3 awards at one go - Most Influential Blog,
Best Original Blog Design and Region’s Best Blog.
(all of this originated from x-Tin's blog)
Friday, October 9, 2009
The test result.
The Test Results
A man is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth.
A young nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask,
"Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies,
"I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet".
He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"
Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown,
holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in her other hand
and takes a close look, and says
"There is nothing wrong with them!"
Finally, the man pulls off his oxygen mask and replies,
"That was very nice but, are... my... test... results... back?
A man is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth.
A young nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask,
"Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies,
"I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet".
He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"
Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown,
holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in her other hand
and takes a close look, and says
"There is nothing wrong with them!"
Finally, the man pulls off his oxygen mask and replies,
"That was very nice but, are... my... test... results... back?
Thursday, October 8, 2009
The bullet.
The Bullet
A pregnant woman is in the bank when the bank is robbed.
A gunfight breaks out, and she is shot 3 times in the abdomen.
She is then rushed to the hospital.
Miraculously, she is unharmed.
After giving a full examination, though, the doctor tells her,
"I have good and bad news for you."
"You are going to have triplets, but each baby has a bullet in it.
Luckily, they have hit no vital organs, and eventually your children
will pass the bullets naturally."
Twelve years pass, and she has forgotten the incident in the bank.
One day, the first child, a daughter, comes to her mother and says,
"Mom, the strangest thing just happened. I was using the toilet,
and I passed a bullet."
The mother explains everything, and she assures her daughter
that everything is okay.
A few weeks later, the second child, also a daughter, comes to
her mother and says, "Mom, the strangest thing just happened."
The mother interrupts her and says,
"You passed a bullet, right?"
The mother goes on to tell the daughter the story.
Several weeks later, the third child, a son, comes to his mother and says,
"Mom, the strangest thing just happened."
The mother interrupts him and says,
"You passed a bullet, right?"
The son says, "No, Mom"
I was masturbating and shot the dog!"
A pregnant woman is in the bank when the bank is robbed.
A gunfight breaks out, and she is shot 3 times in the abdomen.
She is then rushed to the hospital.
Miraculously, she is unharmed.
After giving a full examination, though, the doctor tells her,
"I have good and bad news for you."
"You are going to have triplets, but each baby has a bullet in it.
Luckily, they have hit no vital organs, and eventually your children
will pass the bullets naturally."
Twelve years pass, and she has forgotten the incident in the bank.
One day, the first child, a daughter, comes to her mother and says,
"Mom, the strangest thing just happened. I was using the toilet,
and I passed a bullet."
The mother explains everything, and she assures her daughter
that everything is okay.
A few weeks later, the second child, also a daughter, comes to
her mother and says, "Mom, the strangest thing just happened."
The mother interrupts her and says,
"You passed a bullet, right?"
The mother goes on to tell the daughter the story.
Several weeks later, the third child, a son, comes to his mother and says,
"Mom, the strangest thing just happened."
The mother interrupts him and says,
"You passed a bullet, right?"
The son says, "No, Mom"
I was masturbating and shot the dog!"
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Marie.
Marie
When Marie was 16, she hoped that one day she would have a boyfriend.
When she was 18, she got a boyfriend, but there was no passion.
So she decided she needed a passionate guy with a zest for life.
In college she dated a passionate guy, but he was too emotional.
Everything was an emergency, he was a drama queen,
cried all the time and threatened suicide.
So Marie decided she needed a guy with stability.
When she was 25, she found a very stable guy but he was boring.
He was totally predictable and never got excited about anything.
Life became so dull that she decided she needed a guy with
some excitement.
When Marie was 28, she found an exciting guy,
but she couldn't keep up with him.
He rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything.
He did mad, impetuous things and flirted with everyone he met.
He made Marie miserable as often as happy.
He was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless.
So Marie decided to find a guy with some ambition.
When she turned 31, she found a smart ambitious guy with
his feet planted firmly on the ground and married him.
He was so ambitious that he divorced Marie,
took everything she owned, and ran off with her best friend.
And now, Marie 47 decided to find a guy with a big dick
When Marie was 16, she hoped that one day she would have a boyfriend.
When she was 18, she got a boyfriend, but there was no passion.
So she decided she needed a passionate guy with a zest for life.
In college she dated a passionate guy, but he was too emotional.
Everything was an emergency, he was a drama queen,
cried all the time and threatened suicide.
So Marie decided she needed a guy with stability.
When she was 25, she found a very stable guy but he was boring.
He was totally predictable and never got excited about anything.
Life became so dull that she decided she needed a guy with
some excitement.
When Marie was 28, she found an exciting guy,
but she couldn't keep up with him.
He rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything.
He did mad, impetuous things and flirted with everyone he met.
He made Marie miserable as often as happy.
He was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless.
So Marie decided to find a guy with some ambition.
When she turned 31, she found a smart ambitious guy with
his feet planted firmly on the ground and married him.
He was so ambitious that he divorced Marie,
took everything she owned, and ran off with her best friend.
And now, Marie 47 decided to find a guy with a big dick
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Fifty inch LONG
Fifty Inch Long
There's a man who has fifty inch long penis.
But sadly to say, he can't get any sex, because every woman
who sees it, faints at the sight. So he goes to the doctor and
begs him to shorten it. However, the doctor refuses.
The doctor can't shorten a perfectly good penis, and so
he tells the man, but he does happen to know a witch who
lives in the forest and that she might be able to help.
The man with a heavy heart, decides to go to the forest and
visit the witch, though of course he thinks it's all a bit odd.
But he sets off into the forest and sure enough finds the witch
sitting in front of her cottage casting spells.
"Witch," he says, "please help me, I have a fifty inch long penis
and no one will have sex with me!"
The witch takes one look at his massive cock and then says,
"Wow, you do need my help!!! But you must go into the forest
and find the magic frog who lives in the pond.
Ask him to marry you, and each time he refuses, your penis
will shrink by ten inches!"
Weird though this is, but the man is desperate, so off he goes
into the forest. And, sure enough, he finds the magic frog singing
a Xmas carols quietly to itself.
"Froggy," he shouts, "please marry me!"
The frog looks up, annoyed. "No!" he croaks,
"I can't do that, seeing as how I'm a frog and you're a man."
The guy looks down, sure enough, his penis has shrunk by ten inches!
"It's unbelievable!!!" The man shouted!
However, it's still too long for sex, he thinks, at forty inches,
but he's delighted, so he shouts back at the frog:
"Oh, go on, please marry me!"
"No - I told you once!" the frog croaks, "I can't do that!"
The man looks down - sure enough, his penis has shrunk by
ten inches again! It's now only thirty inches long!
The guy thinks this is wonderful but, still, another
ten inches off would be perfect!
"Frog," The man roars across the pond, "please marry me!"
The frog looks extremely annoyed, shakes his head and shouts,
"No ..........NO.....AND FOR THE LAST TIME.........NO!"
There's a man who has fifty inch long penis.
But sadly to say, he can't get any sex, because every woman
who sees it, faints at the sight. So he goes to the doctor and
begs him to shorten it. However, the doctor refuses.
The doctor can't shorten a perfectly good penis, and so
he tells the man, but he does happen to know a witch who
lives in the forest and that she might be able to help.
The man with a heavy heart, decides to go to the forest and
visit the witch, though of course he thinks it's all a bit odd.
But he sets off into the forest and sure enough finds the witch
sitting in front of her cottage casting spells.
"Witch," he says, "please help me, I have a fifty inch long penis
and no one will have sex with me!"
The witch takes one look at his massive cock and then says,
"Wow, you do need my help!!! But you must go into the forest
and find the magic frog who lives in the pond.
Ask him to marry you, and each time he refuses, your penis
will shrink by ten inches!"
Weird though this is, but the man is desperate, so off he goes
into the forest. And, sure enough, he finds the magic frog singing
a Xmas carols quietly to itself.
"Froggy," he shouts, "please marry me!"
The frog looks up, annoyed. "No!" he croaks,
"I can't do that, seeing as how I'm a frog and you're a man."
The guy looks down, sure enough, his penis has shrunk by ten inches!
"It's unbelievable!!!" The man shouted!
However, it's still too long for sex, he thinks, at forty inches,
but he's delighted, so he shouts back at the frog:
"Oh, go on, please marry me!"
"No - I told you once!" the frog croaks, "I can't do that!"
The man looks down - sure enough, his penis has shrunk by
ten inches again! It's now only thirty inches long!
The guy thinks this is wonderful but, still, another
ten inches off would be perfect!
"Frog," The man roars across the pond, "please marry me!"
The frog looks extremely annoyed, shakes his head and shouts,
"No ..........NO.....AND FOR THE LAST TIME.........NO!"
Monday, October 5, 2009
Fuck up
Things that bother me
1) No HL milk for a week.
2) Losing things
3) Not very good with "hello's", (people loathe me for that)
4) Growing older (I don't mind growing taller.)
5) Getting more and more impatient with people around me
6) Being lost in this realistic world
7) Gaining weight
8) Lose my sense of innocence and sincerity
9) Wake up 6am everyday when school starts.
10) Diet
11) Getting more clueless and careless day by day
12) Getting weird
13)Losing a DOTA game simply because of noob team.
Now probably you'll just think that I m a complete idiot!
Anyway, for the first time in my entire life, I seriously think that
I should be shot with a gun, arghhh... a gun that just enough to hurt me
but not enough to kill me!
Simply because I failed again.
1) No HL milk for a week.
2) Losing things
3) Not very good with "hello's", (people loathe me for that)
4) Growing older (I don't mind growing taller.)
5) Getting more and more impatient with people around me
6) Being lost in this realistic world
7) Gaining weight
8) Lose my sense of innocence and sincerity
9) Wake up 6am everyday when school starts.
10) Diet
11) Getting more clueless and careless day by day
12) Getting weird
13)Losing a DOTA game simply because of noob team.
Now probably you'll just think that I m a complete idiot!
Anyway, for the first time in my entire life, I seriously think that
I should be shot with a gun, arghhh... a gun that just enough to hurt me
but not enough to kill me!
Simply because I failed again.
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